Private Equity Firm To Export Waste to Space

Recent advancements in micro-organism research at Penn State University are leading to technology that can break down solid and liquid human waste and transform it into food that is hygienic and safe for human consumption.

The research was funded by a grant from NASA as the space agency hopes to use the technology one day to turn the human waste produced from space colonies into a food source.

In early developmental stages, astronauts could use the technology to recycle human excrement into edible protein paste using the technology.

SOROS TO BE A LEADING EXPORTER OF WASTE

Never one to miss an opportunity, global investor, George Soros, quickly directed his Soros Fund Management to buy up as many local septic cleaning business as possible. According to leaked documents, Soros plans to corner the human waste supply market and then partner with Elon Musk’s Space X with the goal of transporting the waste materials into space for conversion to food products.

 

Soros Waste corporate roll-up (SFECES Co.)
Soros Food Engineering Colonic Extraterrestrial Supply Co. (SFECES Co.)

 

Soros plans to establish fully-functioning operations with delivery to the International Space Station by 2021. Soros will seek Asian-based  expansion of his septic company acquisitions to meet planned deliveries to the moon by 2028, in advance of anticipated Chinese colonies. Longer-term, the firm envisions waste supply to Musk’s hopeful Mars colony.

After acquiring the hundreds of septic cleaning businesses required to achieve appropriate scale, the businesses will be rolled up into a single entity that will be called Soros Food Engineering Colonic Extraterrestrial Supply Company (SFECES.)

Mr. Soros was asked what prompted his interest in exporting fecal matter into space, to which he grunted, “Well, I’ve been stirring $-it up on earth for decades and profiting from it. Why wouldn’t I want to sling it into space and make more money?”

Soros is known to be able to sniff out profit opportunities in unconventional and sometimes controversial places. But acquaintances of Soros suspect that this endeavor may also be a personal passion project.

Mr. Soros will serve as Chief Executive of SFECES.

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