AssED – Pete the Cooler’s Financial Acronyms of the Week

Continuing our Financial Acronym of the Week series, I’d like to remind you that Pete the Cooler enjoys using financial acronyms to shorten very complicated financial terms, just like the masters of the universe of the financial world do. It sounds so slick, suave, and sophisticated to rattle off a bunch of terms to show your superior financial intellect. So today, you will learn the meaning of AssED.

You’ve likely heard traditional terms like: ACE, EBIT, EBITDA (just add DA), AAGR, CAGR, NPV, MBS, MIV, ROI, CFCT, CDS. And of course you’ve learned PtC’s signature term, Devastating Asset Decline (DeAD) to describe significant declines in value of an investment over a given period of time. You can find all of Pete the Cooler’s Financial Acronyms in the glossary.

As always, while using this terminology to show dominance, maintain a forced power pose while talking to ensure that others submit to your prowess or mistakenly assume you are a maniacal overlord scheming for world domination, before they return to Facebook and Twitter to their own future detriment.


Credit: Satan
Credit: Getty Images

Financial Acronym – AssED

For this week, I’ve coined the term: Asset Event Destruction (AssED) to describe a particular  or specific action or happening that has triggered significant loss in asset value.

For example, Amazon’s AMZN: (%)announcement to enter the package delivery business AssED UPS UPS: (%) stock by nearly 10% .

In severe cases, I highly recommend using AssED to follow one of PtC’s original terms, Devastating Asset Decline (DeAD) , to really drive the point home.

For example, cryptocurrencies have been DeAD AssED in the past month losing more than 50% of value in a month.

As the bear market sets in, those shiny-shoe guys each year in the NY, Chicago, London, and Singapore skyscrapers will absolutely start talking about getting DeAD AssED!

It seems like I would run out of these jewels eventually, but in the meantime I’ll keep rolling out financial acronyms weekly (or so) as we go down this PtC rabbit hole together.

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